i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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