Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
