they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize