More tranny stories later!
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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