I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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