Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
