Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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