if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
