we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
