Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
