I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
