He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
