wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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