This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
