I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
