Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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