Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
