just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
