Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
