I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize