I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
