I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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