I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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