ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So here I am, sexting at work.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
