THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
