my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
