she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
