oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
