My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize