I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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