Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
