you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
