Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
