So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
