mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
