By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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