the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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