Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
