i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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