Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
