If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
im on a boat
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