That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
