I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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