exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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