thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
