dude i'm inner monologue high
My balls are so social today.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize