Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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