Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
