Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
