The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
