i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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