A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Come on in and take your pants off
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