I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
