Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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