If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize