i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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