Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
