I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize