I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
