Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
