her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
did i just pee glitter
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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