I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
