We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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