Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He has the fingertips of a God
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