Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize