R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize